The First Rule of a Good Life: Never Lie to Yourself

Follow your true north

Artwork: The Watzmann by Johan Christian Dahl

Living a good life is an essential part of being human. We all strive to live our best lives and achieve our goals.

However, it can be challenging to do this without understanding and adhering to the basic principles of life. One of the most important principles is the first rule of a good life: never lie to yourself.

This rule may be simple, but it’s incredibly powerful, and it can be the difference between a life of contentment and a life of disappointment.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, novelist, essayist, and journalist, explains:

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”

Lying to yourself means ignoring your authentic needs and wants. It also means ignoring your true feelings, motivations and values.

It’s a reminder to take ownership of your life. It’s also a reminder that you should never be afraid to be your true self.

In practice, being honest with yourself might mean being honest about your feelings, acknowledging your weaknesses and limitations, and taking responsibility for your life.

It also means examining your beliefs and assumptions and being open to the possibility that you may not have all the answers.

When we are dishonest with ourselves, it can be challenging to understand our motivations and desires, leading to confusion, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness in life.

Self-deception prolongs suffering

“The worst of all deceptions is self-deception,” Plato said.

When we lie to ourselves, we create a false sense of reality and, in the process, prolong our suffering. We think we are protecting ourselves, but we are really only hurting ourselves and preventing ourselves from achieving true happiness.

You can only begin to make fundamental changes and live the life you want if you understand your values, motivations and true goals.