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The Loneliness You Feel Has No Substance

Loneliness is empty, you are not.

Thomas Oppong
4 min readNov 22, 2024
Photo by Getty Images on Unsplash

“The loneliness I taste has no substance.”

That’s what I tell myself when my mind takes me on a dark path. I take back control and change the stories in my head. Loneliness feels real. It argues that you are unseen and unworthy. It’s a lie that the mind makes up.

Loneliness is a projection of our fears, insecurities and unmet needs. It’s a symptom of the fear of intimacy, low self-esteem, or lack of purpose. It’s a way of avoiding pain, of protecting ourselves from hurt.

Loneliness stories in our heads are not facts.

They’re not truths. They’re just thoughts we’ve chosen to believe. They can feel as real as you allow them. The mind is good at creating stories to isolate you from others. And makes you feel small and insignificant.

It makes you feel trapped inside your own mental space. Spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said, “We are here to awaken from the illusion of separateness.”

Loneliness is one of those illusions.

It’s not so much about being alone. It’s about perception. Two people can spend the same amount of time by themselves. One feels peaceful. The other feels lonely. Why? It’s the story they tell themselves.

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Thomas Oppong
Thomas Oppong

Written by Thomas Oppong

Making the wisdom of great thinkers instantly accessible. As seen on Forbes, Inc. and Business Insider. For my popular essays, go here: https://thomasoppong.com

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